Marriage Reality Checklist

The following were taken from the first chapter of the handbook http://www.weddingsatwork.com/publications_primer.shtml published at Manila Bulletin’s Sunday issue dated April 27, 2008 thru Preptalk column of John and Benz Rana.

To quote, “This handbook is every Pinoy soon-to-wed’s guide to the big day and beyond. And when we say beyond, we don’t just mean the honeymoon. We want couples to prepare not just for a day’s celebration but also for a lifetime commitment. It aims to emphasize the fact that marriage is ultimately more important than a wedding”.

I have been keeping this article for quite some time now and I feel like sharing it with you especially to those planning to tie-the-knot soon. Gil and I have tackled already most of the issues in our 1.5 years of commitment- and find this, indeed, a factual guide.

You may ought to discuss this checklist with your partner before proceeding to your marriage plans. Or rather, taking your partner’s stand with these issues could be an exciting activity, which may, in one way or another, help you know and appreciate your partner better. Enjoy! =)

PERSONAL- Do I do anything that bugs you? If I can’t change, could you live with that for the rest of our lives?

CHILDREN- How many children do you want? Who’s going to be the primary caregiver? How would you feel if we aren’t blessed with any? Are you open to adoption?

PRENUP- Do you feel there’s a need for us to have a prenuptial agreement?

FINANCES- Who will handle the household budget? Do we remit our full salary to the same pool or will we be allowed to have personal savings and to spend from our own income? Do you have any financial obligations to your family? Do you have debts?

DWELLING- Where will we live when we get married? Is living with my family or yours an option? If so, when do we expect to move out?

HEALTH- Do we have any health issues the other should know of? Are there any health concerns that we could potentially pass on to our children or should be prepared for financially?

RELIGION (different religion/ beliefs)- Do you expect me to convert to your religion? Or will you respect it if I choose to continue practicing what I believe in? Into which religion should our children be brought up?

PRIVACY- Are we allowed to answer calls on each other’s cellphones? Are we free to read each other’s text messages, emails and letters? Can we just open each other’s purse or wallet without prior permission or will it be a big deal?

SEX- Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and problems?

FUTURE IN- LAWS- Does my family do anything that annoys you? Do you feel they will interfere with our marriage? Will it be all right with you if I keep supporting my family (physically/ financially) even if we’re already married?

CAREER- Do you expect me to be a full-time housewife? Would you be bothered if my job pays better than yours?

CHORES- What household chores do you expect me to do? Are we hiring household help?

LIFESTYLE- What do you wish/ expect me to change in my present lifestyle?

VICES- Do you have any drinking, drug or gambling problems that I should know of? Once I am pregnant, will you quit smoking?

FRIENDS- Who among my friends do you feel is a bad influence? Are we still allowed to go out with them for late night “gimmicks” when we’re married?

MIGRATION- Do you see us raising our family here in the Philippines, or is migrating to a foreign land in our plans? Would you consider a job abroad and leave your family behind for a better life?

What?
No! We’re not getting married yet…not yet! Lol!
(You’d surely know bout it, promise!)

‘till next post! c”,)